Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Desperation is all too familiar of a feeling, my heart latches on to every free emotion trying to keep from slipping in the quicksand of despair. She is hurting, he is fighting, and they are dying. Life is fragile yet there are some who fear living and there are some who fear nothing and throw caution to the wind. Find balance, find equilibrium, find peace. No one asked me if I wanted to be a part of this life, no one asked me if I had the strength. I have never hated something so strongly, loathed something so greatly, admired something so little. I am tired, weak, and yet I must find the will to sink my fangs of strength into all that tries to take her from me. From my cold, dead, lifeless body will I ever give up this fight, for her, for me, for us. For she is a fire that burns through my soul, she is the light that guides my way to goodness, for evil is knocking at my door, she is the wind that lifts my mood and carries my sweet surrender to greater heights out of reach of hopelessness. It is not fair so many fight to live, so many live to fight, and so many have no fight and seek death as a comfortable retreat from the problems that tumble down the hillside of life. I get it, I have felt it, I have lived it. No one has to like it, but everyone has to respect it.
When one is sick and in pain, we all feel it, when one is lost to the angels, we all grieve it, when one is happy and doing great, we all enjoy it – relish it, savor it, seek more of it. We move together like the waves of time, seeking a better place, a better life, and a better dream. So easy to crumble into ruins with the slightest of change. Move hastily to enjoy the special times and moments for they may be removed without call from the story line of life. You’d be best to live in the present and not dwell on the past for there is no changing it, no magical wish, no genie to rub, no time machine to set you back and enjoy the pleasures of a redo. The present and future is all that remains. Do we really need anything else?
I see hope in her eyes, a glimmer, a spark of how great life could be, then with the slightest change in tide, I also see remnants of one of the worst days of my life running the length of her chest. It is never far from my thoughts. I weep for those that have lost, I mourn those that have been lost, and I seek contentment that I may find a place and time to accept this life, for there is no other I will be given. For I desire the in between. I see that now. There is no changing it tomorrow. When she smiles and looks into my eyes, it is moment I want to freeze time, for I never know if tomorrow, it will be the same. Sadness seeks a place to hang its eternal hat in my heart. I will fight with heated steel, until my weary heart fails to respire life in my living form. For she is here today.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
By Lee Ann Walker
Wrecked by the words, devastated by the blow of the moment, seated, shaken. Life around us swirls so quickly - faces and movements can no longer be made to form, words erupt, unrecognizable, yet distinct, reminiscent. Simple is no longer the way of life, for all has changed in a single element of time – capturing the past, present, and future. Hostage is the sanity that once was reveled in freedom and yet finds comfort roaming in the mind of naivety and weakness. For the wool has not besieged my eyes, it has collapsed over my body, smothering hope like an eternal flame brought down by a feather weighted with cement. What will become will only be revealed in time and what will be known may never truly be known for how can you change a foreordain path. Swirls of life all around yet none so close to grab hold, an elusive concept really. The pain that embitters the mind and entwines the process of reason with despair. Quash the fury that rises from the pits of the darkness for no one can be to blame. Evoking a sadness that is deeper than the Marina Trench. Eerier is the thought that the bad luck of your day has become the bad luck of her life. There is a dungeon not too far away, it holds a place for me, many days I welcome this journey into the arms of the darkness – ready to close my eyes and fall into a slumber of defeat. The lightest sense of life is heavy now, dragging me behind like a wrecking ball and chain. I am scrapped and bruised, unshielded from the devastating blows and cuts of an odd new normalcy. Yet there is a spark, while small and at times squelched – it is there waiting to erupt into a flame that devours the darkness and rises above to claim the throne is once resided upon. Claiming back hope and a new normalcy of life. Prosperity will reign in a time where not much else would survive, yet we are not talking about money or riches, we are talking about life, her life. For her life is my life and living is not possible without her.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
A Dad, A Best Friend
By Lee Ann Walker
Haunted by a decision made of his own,
living with pain he should never have known.
He sees his life a different way,
reminded through his son, his pain will stay.
A child then, deciding to leave in search of a good time,
America his heart screamed, now a bad memory in his mind.
Leaving his dad and saying good bye,
boarding a plane to give a new life a try.
Could he have known his actions then would be so regretful,
wise reason says no, but he holds on so resentful.
A child should never have to choose,
for in the end the child will lose.
Words of wisdom cannot lessen his fears,
all I can do is wipe away the tears.
Life occurs as it is meant to be,
challenging us in ways we don’t always agree.
He thinks the divide has cost him a bond,
but in reality the love his father has is quite fond.
Solid and strong and remaining so true,
distance and time were no match for these two.
Hold steadfast in your heart my dear man,
for this bond is one that can withstand.
Never forget, in his heart he will love you to the end,
for in him, you have a dad and a best friend.